Ready to Race

M = Malaysia;
M = Mel;


M = Matt & Mel!

*pray* Us! Us! Us!

Almighty Power

Collected the 4 passes, rather expected (and a lil' disappointed though) that lovey and Becky couldn't make it. Called bro, wasn't nearby KLCC, so we decided to give those tickets away to make some 2 people happy. Started approaching people like mad fellas, they've all either bought tickets, not interested, or were too suspicious that it's too good to be true. Finally gave it to 2 caucasians (who thought we were gonna sell to them! haha), after more than 5 approaches! So mom and I made conclusion that Malaysians when comes to approaches, are generally either:-

1. Too shy
2. Too un-kiasu
3. Too defensive (some looked like we're gonna rob them even after we explained the situation and re-emphasized that the tickets are FREE)
4. Too suspiscious/unbelievable (the confusion looks on their faces that says in Cantonese, "bin dou yao gam dai jek gap na cui gai tiu" (where got such rare bird jumping all over the street), left us disappointed for not being able to give the tickets out for free at first...)

We had fun approaching people tonight. More like testing the response of Malaysians in general towards free offers from strangers. Random samples! haha :p

"Hey guys, you do listen to Mix FM right? Yeah of cause you do, that's why you're all here watching the movie. ..I'm going to announce the winner, and if the winner for whatever strange reasons, which really shouldn't be the case, happens not to be here, then I'll call out another name. ..And the winner is *suspence, all were silent* ...Melissa Shum!"

I was wishing hard that I'd have it for someone who loves me so much, for someone who slogged for the family so much, for someone who truly deserves it. And it was answered. I was so excited, I screamed (I swear it wasn't loud, but the whole cinema hall was so quiet that I could hear my own voice (being so conscious of hearing one's own voice wasn't funny, seriously, just like being emcee when everyone is truly listening to what you're saying...)! Oh, mom went along with me, she screamed (in low key :p) when I clutched her arm so hard...) *embarrassed* oh well.

So dear God, you must have been reading my blog, or you heard my wish! I'm glad I'm selected to show mom and dad that I love 'em! You shown me once again that I could trust my feelings, for good or bad. I must admit that I regained faith in you :) I'm happy and mom's happy because I'm happy, and I thank you for letting mom know that I'm happy, thank you for making us happy!!

Thanks for the passes to Flight Plan once again, good show, mom and I enjoyed it (what's more blissful than having each other's company anyway. But how I wish lovey could be there as well hehe). Thank you for the reward for mom and dad! *hug* (er, ok an not appropriate gesture of appreciation, but I'm just so thrilled. Never really got the luck to win lucky draws if not wishing for it for mom and dad! Liked the way Non prounounced it correctly, oh yes!)

Oh, I was so delighted I even forgot to take back my IC from Non... :p

Blacking Mitigation Shit

Blacking bad day. After completing the mitigation letter, was in bloody bad mood. Tried to call for company but to no avail. Blue, quiet, slow, alone.

Rode a bicycle. Never in my life had I rode on a mountain bike with gears and speed control and two-wheeled break system. Went around SG8 and SG9, uphill was extremely tiring, downhill was extremely frightening coz I almost lost control of that monster... tried to figure out how the gears work, and got the chain mislocated, couldn't move anymore, luckily was nearby the office and the bicycle seller's within walking distance!

Nearly 45 minutes of ride got me all sweated, but the breeze kinda cooled me down. Went on a exercise marathon, swimming at BJ was kinda fruitful though lonely today. Came to know the lifeguard, Baha, who pointed out that my styles were wrong. Was kind of him to give me instructions but stupid Mel didn't do it right still, at 8 Baha got kind-er, jumped into the pool and demonstrate the right strokes. Well, hopefull will get it soon.

Congrats, Chee Lih & Michelle!

Congratulations to newly-wed Mr & Mrs Tan! You looked so happy, hehe, Mel's happy for you too! All the best in sharing your lives together :)

Gotta be Smart and More Careful!

Received an email quoted in the following from my friend, who just lost her handphone recently.

Dear Friends,

I want to share with you my horrible experience. This is happening frequently nowadays. Please alert your family & friends.

It happen on 7 September 2005, a guy with the name “Mr. Lui” called my office in the afternoon and claims that he knows our director and spoke to her before this. He insists that his director is interested to buy our software and want to have a meeting at KLCC on that day itself. They are from Singapore and will fly back after today. When I tell him I will bring my colleague along to the meeting, he stated that he only reserve four seats in the coffee shop for his boss, himself, his wife and me, ask me to come alone for a short discussion. Well, he asked me to bring along my software catalogue and wait him in front of Giordano, KLCC at 2:30pm. I rush down to KLCC and called him when I reached Giordano. He made me wait a while and then requested for me to go Isetan, Estee Lauder counter, his wife is buying something over there. Again, I went to Estee Lauder counter. Later, Mr. Lui came and approach me alone without his wife and boss around. After we met up, he was telling me about our boss and he knew our boss is not in the country and ask me to send his regards. He sounds like he knew my boss very well, so i didn't actually suspect anything.

He then brought me to Shrooms café shop and we ordered drinks. Then I asked him where is his wife and his boss, he said they are still shopping and will join us later. When we are about to start our conversation, a lady called to my mobile phone and said that she is Mrs. Lui and she can’t contact her husband, asking me whether I’m with him and wanted to talk to him. Then I passed the phone to Mr. Lui, he told me that his wife was lost in KLCC and his phone is out of battery. He needs to find his wife somewhere in KLCC, then he carry my mobile phone to find his wife. He left his bag and an envelope on the table and will be back in 5 minutes time. I wait there for about 30 minutes and he didn't turn up after that. Things didn’t seem right and I was worried. I got help from the waiter at Shrooms café to ring my phone but my phone was OFF! I then brought his bag and the envelope he left on the table and have to even pay for the bill.

I suspect he is a thief and worry he will do something else with my phone. I went to report to KLCC security guard and they seem helpless more so hopeless. I am so disappointed and have to call to block my phone line immediately. When I opened the envelope, it is just another empty envelope in it and the bag contains a stone wrap with newspapers. In fact, the bag is padlocked that I can’t open immediately in the coffee shop. Everything is planned, and he has done research on company background before he approached the victim. I was so sad that I was conned. Thank god, I just lost my mobile phone but all my contacts are in the phone, so I don't know who is next. Anyhow I have lodged a police report. PLS PASS THIS MESSAGE TO EVERYONE IN YOUR LIST. THIS IS NOT A JOKE. There are still a lot of victims out there. Pls be extra careful especially those who have to meet customer. DON’T BORROW YOUR MOBILE PHONE TO ANYONE! Below is the photo of the bag & the envelope the thief left. Notice that the bag is padlocked so that you can’t open it on the spot.

REMEMBER TO FORWARD THIS E-MAIL TO ALERT YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT THIS HORRIBLE TRICK!! Take care friend!

Don't know what to say. Just wondering though, why wouldn't she suspect anything
1. When Mr Lui says he'll bring along his wife to a business meeting.
2. When Mrs Lui called to look for her husband.
3. When Mr Lui claimed that his wife and boss were shopping and will join them later. Which boss on earth would accompany his staff's family to do shopping when there's more important thing to do like business?
4. When Mr Lui in the first place arranged the meeting at "coffee shop" but later drove her around KLCC? If he's really serious bout her product (and was rushing back to Singapore), wouldn't he have settled business first before shopping?
5. When Mr Lui said he reserved 4 seats. Which coffee shop in KLCC is so strict/high class, that doesn't allow additional seatings?
6. When Mr Lui wanted to borrow her phone to find his wife. When people take your phone, you just let them? And how big is KLCC ler? What bout refering to enquiry counter or the shops directory?

Also was wondering the risk that Mr Lui took to invest his time (although he has nothing to loose), (unless he confirmed earlier) what if Mr Lui's prey was carrying a Nokia 3210 (or of similar 2nd value, aka compatible, bah!)? Would he have carried on with his plan and walked away with the phone anyway? Unless 3210 can catch RM50+ (probability = <0.5 ??), Mr Lui may be running at a lost coz the padlock + bag + phone call charges + time could have costed more.

Oh well, not sure if I'd be that blur/silly when I'm out. Can only pray for the best. Gotta be smart and quick, Mel. Gotta trust your instinct at times, even if requested by your boss to do something suspicsiously beyond your (reasonably) job scope. You may treat everyone equally but others see you as nothing more than a girl in other words, fragile and easy to get (and in this matter, it matters how others see you!)

Cinderella Man

Watched Cinderalla Man today, great show. Those days, boxing were for real. Flesh and blood, unlike today's silly WWE. Times were real tough during the Great Depression, in fact, times are never good during recessions.

Salute to James J. Braddock for being such honest, loving, and strong-willed person. According to his official website,

James J Braddock earned his nickname, Cinderella Man, from his seemingly fairytale like rise from a poor local fighter to the heavyweight boxing champion of the world.

The man who was once famous and rich, discarded his ego to apply for government relief during tough times, for his family. The man who had determination and faith in himself still after great failure in life. Wow.

Three interesting facts.

Firstly, Sara Wilson in the movie Cinderella Man was actually the granddaughter of James J. Braddock!

And Max Baer wasn't as cruel as he may seemed in the movie. According to Wikipedia,

Baer fought Frankie Campbell (brother of Brooklyn Dodgers Hall Of Famer Adolph Camilli) on August 25, 1930 in San Francisco and knocked him out. Campbell never regained consciousness. After lying on the canvas for nearly an hour, an ambulance finally transported Campbell to a nearby hospital where he eventually died of extensive brain hemorrages. An autopsy revealed that Baer's devastating blows had knocked Campbell's entire brain loose from the connective tissue holding it in place within his cranium. This fatality shocked Baer; according to his son, Max Baer, Jr., he cried and had nightmares over the incident for decades afterwards. He was charged with manslaughter. Although he was eventually acquitted of all charges, the California State Boxing Commission still banned him from any in-ring activity within their state for the next year. He gave purses from succeeding bouts to Campbell's family, but lost four of his next six fights. He fared better when Jack Dempsey took him under his wing, and Baer put Campbell's children through college.

Both decent men after all, I suppose.

Thirdly, Russel Crowe who played the role of Braddock in the movie, actually bought the original receipt of Braddock's reimbursement to the government relief via a bid/auction.

Weeee, Lucky Plan!

Was just trying my luck, who knows, I really got lucky today! 5th sms thru, won 4 passes to the viewing of Flight Plan at KLCC next Tuesday! Woohoo~! Thanks, Mix FM. Thanks, Ross. Btw it's pronounced as Shum as in Humpty Dumpty, not Shoom. Hehe.

Langkawi, Langkawi, Langkawi... *chant continues* :p

Good Friends

Dear Matt

Thanks for tellin' me bout Ms Gorgeous. The fact that I found her mysteriously attractive, and that I admired her beauty whenever I saw her, guess if she knew I was confused with my preference back then (more so when I became single again), am sure she and I and everything would be very different today. It's terrible imagining myself being non-hetero, so thanks for ONLY telling me now and not back then, would HATE to miss someone even more attractive and wonderful (and absolutely right for me!) like Randolph :)

Lunch at Uncle Lee's was great. Thanks for your company, thanks for being the gentleman as you always are, walking me to my car, appreciate that.

The idea of participating in the race as a team is exciting. For the number of friends you have, I never expect you to think of me :p Would be great experience if we could get ourselves registered and selected, so keep me informed if you'll be able to make it this Sunday ya. Thanks!

Till then, take care :)


Mel "Whatzup"

Reckless Mel

Drove recklessly, yes, again. Sigh. But I wasn't trying to knock anyone down, not even the damn policemen. Seriously. I'm not that crazy... yet!!! Bah, why wouldn't you believe me...

If I Were A Thousandaire...

1. Pay mom 3 times the price of da new system
2. Holiday. Bali? Hong Kong? New Zealand? Australia? South Africa? Switzerland? Maldives? Ooh, Maldives! (Oh, Maldives after Tsunami? Hmm..)
3. The violin!
4. The PDA!

Stop Eating Me, Laziness!

Was reading the American Olympic gold medalist's interview, I hate him. He's nothing but a big fat lazy ass, like me. Yes, like me when I feel lazy and doing nothing solid and meaningful.

Today's improvement: Not playing Simpson's AT ALL. See, lovey, I'm not addicted, just pure slackiness.

Time to do real things, lazy!

What should be done?
1. Submit HS to YMCA
2. Revise sign lang
3. Transfer files from old PC to new PC, shift the old set downstairs
4. Clear sister's 学海
5. Tidy up room
6. Mow the lawn
7. Drive the blue car
8. Fix the sound card problem, for goodness' sake!
9. Revise Director and Premiere
10. Learn 3D

What should be bought?
1. Empty CDs
2. Adobe Illustrator + Photoshop
3. Monitor + keyboard + mouse

What should be downloaded/installed?
1. Palm Desktop
2. Lost mp3s
3. Illustrator
4. Photoshop
5. Lightwave
6. What else, think think!

Talking bout sound card. Really upsets and demotivates me. Shit. Tomorrow, must get it done. You blacking lazy, Mel. And you blacking lazy too (to test my system completely), Yap. Be more professional, can or not?!

Oh btw, thanks for burning me those extra applications, weelee :) what a pleasant surprise! (see, again I could've thanked you days ago, lazy me only ran the CD today...)

Mom'll be going to ?? tomorrow? Mm, enjoy the trip, darling!

I Don't Wanna Imagine Being Loved

Almost 3 hours, I've never been more patient.
You made me feel worthless, unattractive.
When you keep me waiting though you know very well of my impatient trait.
You made me feel like you're fooling me around.
When you say you're tired though I waited for hours, and later apologize.
(Don't say things like you asked me to go ahead, why do you think I drove all the way? For myself or us?)
Numbness you felt, me too?
Tiresome you feel, me too?

"Screw it, no more later than 8 unless it's something special/urgent/once in a while."
But then, everytime when I get to see you, I feel special.
But then, everytime when we could meet, it's urgent I feel coz tomorrow's too uncertain and scary.
But then, we don't meet everyday, so everytime seeing you is once in a while.

Remember the first time when I became so quiet (and you thought I was angry) coz I felt sad to have to say goodbye to you soon?
The feeling returns to me everytime when we part. Still.
I hate goodbyes, but not seeing you is too difficult.
And I hate to worry bout you, I hate waiting and guessing if you're alright.

Please don't rush me thru meals when I drove so far so late waited so long.
Please don't say I look scary, I'm all hungry and sick and sensitive.
Please don't bark at me or make me bark and bite you (and feel bad afterwards) when I've declared that I can't take jokes, I mean it.
Please show me your love, I prefer it when you do it instead of saying it.
Please don't feel pressured, I just wanna be loved like I love you.

You're my choice.
I still want you and only you.
I still feel lucky and blessed to have you.
Sigh.
I love you.
You're my choice.
Sigh.
Thank you for being fine, despite tired and stone :p
Thank you for being yourself, for being honest.
Thank you for loving me.

Tiring Fun

Saturday, 17.09.2005
Emceed for CSK from morning till night, dad's happy with my performance :) Started playing Incredibles and Simpsons Hit&Run. Incredibles' incredibly difficult to control for nut gamer like me. Simpsons' fun, but sister kept laughing at the way I lose control of the characters, bah. She proved that she's much better than me...

Sunday, 18.09.2005
Emceed for CSK till noon, went to KLCC, bought a jacket, reached home, felt so worn out, slept on the floor for 2.5 hours...

Monday, 19.09.2005
Went to Chong Dispensary for pre-employment check-up, had urine test, ear test, X-ray scan, weight and height measurement, breast and stomach test. Gathering with GF0432CMT at Neway, Terry has terrific voice, wow!

Tuesday, 20.09.2005
Returned the letter of appointment to Ms Carrine, 2 more weeks before working life commences. Counting down the days... feel somewhat suffocated and pressured already, hehe. Hope everything will turn out ok.

Gettin' the hang of sign language conversation, lovin' it. Thanks for the encouragement, Ms Anne. Hehe, she was so shy to teach us sign "have sex" :p

Been playing and playing Simpsons' these few days, eyes are tired, fingers hurt, butt and back ache and numb. Conclusion: gotta limit the duration of play.

Havin' lots of fun these few days, tryin' to enjoy life before it ends...

Thank You Notes

Thanks NG, for the offer, for giving me extension to consider, for understanding and respecting my choice of career. Hope one day when I've found a place nearer to SK, when I grow more stable (less energetic to run around), I've the opportunity to work for you :)

Thanks Mark, for accepting and understanding my explanation. sorry for causing you any inconvenience :( I'd really love to go to SuperCamp coz I know it's gonna be a terrific experience, but I've gotta give it up this time...

Thanks Jing Wen, Hennley and lovey, for forwarding my resume :)

Thanks Mrs Khoo, Ms Mei Yee, Ms Irene, Ms Lynn, Mr Lam WH, Ms Caren Chan, Ms Amy for making interview arrangements, offering me jobs. I look forward to working for you in the future when opportunity comes by again.

Thanks Mr Rodrigues, Ms Carrin, Ms Kar Wai, Ms Wai Syee for your time, effort and patience in arranging the two interviews. Special thanks to Mr Rodrigues for guidance and offer of the post. I will do my best :)

Thanks Wee Lee, for bearing with my carelessness, for replicating Level 3 stuff for me. I'm sorry to trouble you again, really really appreciate your selfless, generous help :) It's been a pleasure year studying with you.

Thanks Matthew NF for the invitation to witness the glory moments of you and majority of the council members. Your mom must be thrilled. Too bad I won't be free to attend the graduation, but your kind thoughts and offer is very much appreciated :) Good luck in your future undertakings.

Thanks Matthew WC for remembering me when you come to KL. Glad to hear bout your Postgrad graduation :) Your parents must be so proud of you.

Thanks Lovey for sharing your biz thoughts and the happenings in your life with me. You show me a whole new world of hopes and possibilities, you grant me the chance to learn and to love again *hugkiss* :) I salute your creativity, practicality and efficiency at work from the bottom of my heart, seriously. *applause* Oh btw, thanks for laughing at my stupid new hairstyle, you must be exhausted after laughing so hard and so long! Appreciate the humiliation of your fingers on the fringe, BAH BAH BAH! Wait till the wind blows the joker-AIR your direction! *grin* :p

No words are enough to express my gratitude. Thank you again, y'all! *kurtsy*

Thinking Cap: On

Got the chance to see lovey play again, wow! Find him really so attractive, behind the drum sets, while driving, while talking... *whistle* Confident, witty, sexy! A 5 star man. MY man ;)

Failed to concentrate on the bible today, as a result didn't find any interesting verse. Discovered a memo from a teacher to her student, written on the blank page in one of the bibles there. Curious, decided to search for more messages. Among the messeges found, found I AM MOT A BABA BABY in kid's handwriting the weirdest one! Haha.

The encounter with the assholes ruined the night. Thanks for settling it so steadily, lovey. I would have been panicked. Must find out more on public laws (stupid webmaster though, how can they say "neither the Bar Council nor any one of the contributors accepts responsibility for any error or omission contained therein"? They're supposed to be professioal and responsible in their speech!), and human rights being practiced in Malaysia. Also on consumer's rights. Can't let buggers frighten me.

Sometimes it may be troublesome to lodge a report or complain against the authorities, employees or business owners due to one or all of the following:-

1. beauracracy and non-transparency of possible paths to seek help and methods being practiced
2. lack of awareness on human rights, consumer's rights, etc among the members of the public
3. imperfection and loopholes of the Malaysian laws, company rules and regulations, etc
4. unfair standard/practice
5. etc

But then, I feel that we shouldn't just let things be as it was/is, otherwise our service industries and living quality can never be at par of those developed countries. And if we choose to be lazy and surrender our rights, we can't complaint for the lousy environment coz we didn't do our best, our parts to make it better! Improving seldom is a smooth change, it may be a weary journey of time, energy, money, etc etc, but there's a price and sacrifices for quality.

Arrived home, dad was highly rarely patiently teaching mom mandarin! Good for you, keep it up, dad. Oh, thanks for the freelance commission advice, dad.

Been thinking and planning the whole day on the video project and my financial standing (finally sensing the touch of independence, soon), requested a list of my expenses incurred each month from mom, wanna start taking responsibilities for my life. Mom's glad and supportive with my decision but dad being the "good guy" as always, saying no need. Darn, Mr. R. guessed it right - I'm daddy's girl. What's this, dad, double standard? Over protective? Or simply don't believe in my ability? It certainly will take time before I can be completely independent, but you've gotta let go, let me try, let me start learning! Please, the time has come and I shall prove to you and myself that I'm capable of making ends meet some day.

Self (Learning) Assessment

Time to come clean with myself for assessment *anxious*

Dyslexia Symptoms
Directional confusion - No
Sequencing difficulties - A little
Difficulties with the little words - Often
Bizarre reading and spelling - Minor
Late talking or immature Speech - No
Difficulties with handwriting - No
Difficulties with Math - A little
Makes up a story, based on the illustrations, which bears no relation to the text - at times
Reads very slowly and hesitantly - No
Loses orientation on a line or page while reading, missing lines or reading previously-read lines again - Yes
Reads aloud hesitantly, word by word, monotonously - No
Tries to sound the letters of the word, but is then unable to say the correct word. For example, sounds the letters ‘c-a-t’ but then says cold - No
Mispronounces words, or puts stress on the wrong syllables - Yes!!!
Reads only in the present tense although the text is in the past - No
Foreshortens words, for example ‘portion’ for proportion - Yes *embarrassed*
Substitutes another word of similar meaning, for example dog for pup - Yes *more embarrassed*
Omits prefixes, omits suffixes or adds suffixes - Sometimes
Reads with poor comprehension, due to spending so much energy trying to read the words - No
Remembers little of what he reads - Super yes...
Spells words as they sound, for example ‘rite’ for right - At times
Cannot write or match the appropriate letter when given the sound - At times
Often ignores punctuation. He may omit full stops or commas and fail to see the need for capital letters - No
Poor at copying from the board - At times, not serious
Has trouble attaching names to things and people - Yes, getting worse...

Think. When I say 'yes' to the above, it's 75% of times less serious compared to those Dyslexic; Considering the number of 'no's, I think I'm NOT dyslexic. Woohoo~! *jump*

So the difficulties that I face when learning something is due to lack of patience and persistance. What else? Poor memory. Mm, the mind's so blank when the learning subject's not through, but once it's through lots of related and unrelated ideas rush flowing in, greater than the memory can hold and faster than the hands can write it down (if the motor's not too lazy to work!). Sigh. What a pity.

Ok, solutions.
1. Write down ideas.
2. Categorize ideas: achievable, non-achievable.
3. Plan achivable ideas and stick on visible, frequently visited, easily accessed areas (car's a bad idea, so is toilet, so is room, but then, everywhere is unaccessible when I'm elsewhere!)
4. Do not suppress non-achievable ideas. Write 'em down still, keep well.

Advantage of having the a PDA: Mobility, accessibility
Why don't I rely on my PDA fully? Risk of batt flat, data lost
What to do then? Don't know? *think and decide*
1. Jot rough ideas and plan on paper
2. Write detailed info and planning (after research and assessment) on PDA

Brilliant. DO IT.

Corrupted, Gone!!!

Smart lar, impatient lar! 37GB of data ALL CORRUPTED, ALL GONE! NOW HAPPY LAR! IDIOT! HOW TO TELL MOM?!

Second Interview

Had a second interview conducted by Ms Wai Syee, the HR Manager. Realistic, understanding, (less talkative than Mr. R.).

Expecting the letter of appointment.

I Love You

我喜欢你牵我的手，我喜欢你不介意我的手心冒汗，我不喜欢你放手。
我喜欢看你吃任何东西都冒头大汗（有时多得恐怖，有人认为恶心）。
但我喜欢为你擦干热又粘的汗，我喜欢知道你给我机会替你拭干汗水、替你抹嘴。
我喜欢听到你因不想失去我而吩咐我系上安全带，我更喜欢你伸手替我把它系上。
我喜欢你吩咐我小心驾驶，我喜欢你小心翼翼的开车，我喜欢你以身作则的榜样。
我喜欢你吻我的头发、头额、脸颊、鼻头、双唇、肩膀、手心、胸前，直至膝盖。
我喜欢你抱着我入眠。我喜欢你站稳自己的立场亦尊敬我的意愿。
我喜欢你直接、不兜圈的说话方式，但希望你多表达自己的想法。
我喜欢你因为尊重我的能力而在公事上与我划清界限、公私分明。
我喜欢你对我那么有信心，我喜欢你放手让我自跑、有时陪我走。
我喜欢你轻松、简单、一心一意地爱我，我喜欢你不用花言巧语。
我喜欢看你敲打着鼓的样子，我喜欢看你投入于电脑的样子。
毫不遮掩坏习惯极可爱（虽然当众抓屁股、打嗑的确不美）。
我喜欢和你比赛看谁打嗑最大声（虽然我从来都输）。
我喜欢你无论再累了都愿意抽时间见面（虽然心疼）。
我喜欢你只适时纵我（虽然有时会希望你纵我更多）。
我喜欢搓你的屁股，我也喜欢你有时轻打我的屁股。
我喜欢看你粗野的坐姿，喜欢看你踢足球时的风采（像猩猩也罢！哈哈）。
我喜欢你信任我、都愿意和我分享及分担你的苦乐。
我喜欢你偶尔用大哥、老秋的语气给我劝告、提议。
还有许多许多可爱之处，我无法一一列出。
你当然也有缺点，但你都能忍受我的短处！
让我头动（转头）的男生不少，但让我心动、行动的，都还是你。
可爱聪明，性感俊俏，我的美龙，要付出再多都值得，我都愿意！
谢谢你深爱着我。
谢谢你让我爱你。

Thank you for loving me, Lovey. I love you and look forward to a happy future with you.

天堂情书

我喜欢抱着我们的孩子，亲亲热热地喊他宝贝，喊着“宝贝”时，你的声音便会在我耳际想起，请你地喊着：“宝－－贝！”

亲爱的，党只有我们两个人在一起时，你总喜欢喊我“宝贝”，每当你张开双臂，将我紧紧揽在怀里时，你便会亲亲热热地喊着：“宝－－贝！”

你却是把我当“宝贝”一般疼爱，总悉心呵护着我，怕我受苦受累。

常常，我们一起去旅行，走累了，你把身子一低，很自然地把我驮在身上。在无人的山径中，我喜欢这样然你背着，一种很自然的亲爱，享受着你对我的疼惜。你说：“我喜欢这样背着你，老婆可以像女儿一样疼着，是一种甜蜜的负担。”

有一回，在石市，我们走路上街，你心血来潮要到工艺美术社，于是走了好几条街道美术社，随着又逛到新华书店。回程，我提议搭公车，因为我真的好累。你说公车不往家里的方向，转车很费事。于是，你又说：“来，我背着你走。”

我不可置信地望着你：“你背我？在大马路上？”

“没错，我背你。”

＂路上那么多人看着！怎么好意思？＂

“看着又怎么样？有什么不好意思？我背着我的老婆，关别人什么事？”

看着你认真的眼神，我当真跳上了你的背，在车来人往的街道上，你将我驮在背上，神色自若地与我聊天。倒是我，实在难以忍受旁人的灼灼目光，走了一小段路，我就告诉你：“我不累了，我要下来。”

你微笑地望着我：“奇怪，你为什么要在乎别人的眼光？被人看你，是羡慕你呢！”

你总是宝贝着我。不管在何时何地，人前人后，你不作丝毫的掩饰。我在中国大陆的日子里，我们总是形影不离，出门时，必定是手挽着手。看得邻居太太们直对着妈说：“你家儿子媳妇感情真好！走到哪儿都是手牵着手。”

住在南小街的屋子里，因为屋内没有水龙头，没有下水道，用水必须到马路边的水龙头去提取。每次洗衣服，你去帮忙提水到院子，当我蹲在院子里搓揉衣服时，你便会将我拉起，然后自己卷起袖子动手洗衣。

其实你根本不会洗衣服，之前你与父母同住，衣服都是妈妈在洗，看你手忙脚乱地搓揉这衣服，泡沫喷得到处都是，我不禁笑了。

“一看就知道你不会洗衣服，我来，虽然我在家也很少用手洗衣，但洗衣烧饭似乎是女人的天职，不用学也会一些。”

你说：“我不想你太累。”你摊开我的手掌，看了看：“而且，你的手不是做家事的手，我不希望它因为我变粗糙。”

“我是你的妻子，为你做这些事我很开心。”

“这些我也能做，能为你做是我也很开心。”

为了抢着洗衣服，我们有一番小小争执。最后，我们协议分工，我负责在屋里搓揉，你负责将衣服提到马路边的水龙头去冲水洗清，因为我这个“台湾媳妇”不太习惯蹲在大马路边冲洗衣物。

每当邻居看见你提这衣服去“投水”，便对妈妈说：“你们家儿子真不赖，还会帮媳妇儿洗衣服。”妈妈将这一番话转告我们，谁知你对别人的称赞毫不领情。“谁要她们多管闲事？我做我愿意做的事，才不在乎别人怎么说。”

常常，哥哥姐姐回来，我们会在饭后泡茶、聊天、嗑瓜子。不喜欢吃零食的你，总是耐心地拔着一颗有一颗的葵瓜子，等拔出一握的瓜子仁，在送到我的嘴里。

起初，我总是不好意思当着父母、兄姐的面让你剥瓜子仁“喂”我吃，但是，你似乎觉得理所当然。然而，父母、兄姐似乎很乐意见到你如此体贴，习惯了，我也就顺理成章地接受你的好意。

夜晚，当我们回到房间，你怕我劳累，会主动帮我“卷皮”（类似按摩的一种）。

“我一整天在家闲着，只是看书、喝茶、吃饭、睡觉，怎会疲劳？”

“你趴着，试试，很舒服的。以前念书的时候，书读累了，都会跟我的哥儿们互相卷皮，卷完后整个人很放松，睡得很安稳。”

于是我趴在床上，闭目享受着你的“卷皮”服务，心里却有一点小小的愧疚。这样的举动不该是妻子来“侍候”丈夫的吗？

“我觉得自己这样太享福了，有点像皇太后。”

你笑着说：“那我不成了太上皇？”你翻过我的身子，深情地凝视着我：“其实，为你做任何事我都觉得很开心，使我的福报。”

我坐起身子，把你推到在床上。“来，我学会了，轮到我来侍候你。”

你也使我生命中唯一的“至宝”。

我很乐意为你做一切事情，我喜欢帮你洗头、剪发、刮胡子、剪指甲。尽管，帮你洗头时常弄得你一连泡泡；尽管，我剪出来的发型有些土气；尽管刮胡子的时候常常不小心将你的下巴划破皮，但是，你似乎也把这一切当成是“享受”。

虽然我厨艺不佳，但我愿意蹲在蜂窝煤炉子前生火做饭，忍受炭烟熏红了眼，为你洗手做姜汤；虽然我吃素，但我愿意忍受腥味，为你煎鱼炖肉；虽然我手脚不是很麻利，但是我乐意跟着妈妈学习捍面包、包饺子、蒸包子；虽然我自认是个大女人，但我乐意为你冲茶、泡咖啡，举案齐眉；虽然我怕麻烦，但我开心地跟着姐姐学习打毛线，为你编织冬衣。

我喜欢看着你认真地扒着饭，大口大口地吃菜；我喜欢看你吃完饭，啜着香片满足幸福的模样；我希望将你消瘦的双颊，养出一点点肉来。

你总喜欢顶着一头“傻气”的发型，穿着宽大的毛衣，到我到你同学的家里“炫耀”。当同学笑你发型不好看，衣服不合身时，你自信自在地说：“你们真没艺术眼光，这是小宋的巧思和手艺，谁也比不上。”

看着你精神奕奕，脸上泛着喜悦的光彩，妈高兴之余不免偷偷伤感。

“你一来，他的心情就好，胃口大开、有说有笑。可是你一走，他又抑郁寡欢、魂不守舍，整天等着邮差、守着电话。有时候，一天不说一句话，一餐吃不下半碗饭。”

每当听妈妈这样说，我就感到心疼无奈，多么希望永远留在你的身边，一刻都不分离。无奈的分离，是为了将来长相厮守而各自努力。亲爱的，我们身离心不离，我们多么地珍爱着对方，宝贝着对方。

从前有你，一直没有想过要当妈妈，总想着：一你我漂泊流浪的性格，不适合有孩子。总想着：我们俩会一直相依相伴，到老到死。

却没想到，有一天，你会突然离开我。。。哀恸无望之际，幸亏上天留了一条活路，赐给我另一个“宝贝”，安定我慌乱的心。

亲爱的，我们的宝贝３岁了，他好可爱，好聪明，有点顽皮，很是固执。他很腻我，很喜欢撒娇，我总喊着他“小宝贝”。

每当我喊着“宝贝”，你的声音便萦绕在我耳际，那种亲爱的感觉充盈我心。

拥抱着“宝贝”柔软的身子，亲吻着“宝贝”粉嫩的双颊，亲爱的，我多么感谢你，因为有你，我才有了他。因为有了“宝贝”，我的人生之路才走得下去。

（编按：现职自由作家，自丈夫过世后，她用一封封的信继续着与丈夫的爱情。这是一系列天堂轻孰重的其中一封信。摘自2005年8月18日《星洲副刊》。宋芳绮字。）

宋芳绮与先生周武，育有一子周易儒。2001年，结婚八年，即将来台相聚的大陆籍周武，却在一个早饭后的散步，意外身亡。消息从便传来，芳绮怀着四个月身孕，等待丈夫、孩子的父亲第一次来台的喜悦，一下子被死亡冻僵、崩裂。

读着，我哭了。怜悯他们的爱情得不了正果。难得相爱却未能相守。这样的爱情，这样的婚姻，令人感动。过程令人憧憬却又不期待拥有。

笨蛋的我，常常胡思乱想，时常“要是我是他”之类的想象，但这次，我不敢想象，要是想象就会太痛苦了。我深爱着美龙，知道美龙也深爱着我。就此之多，我要知道、我敢知道。

无法忘记曾经，CV也唤我为“宝贝”。每次被他“宝贝”，都好甜蜜幸福、整天希望那刻就是永远。谢谢你从前这样唤我。：）也许因此，所以整天下来，心情还是陷低潮，无法抽离芳绮的故事。真的不要想太多了。爱在当下，无悔无怨地爱与被爱，不管发生什么事，才有勇气继续生活。亲情、爱情、友情皆如此。

唉。但愿宋芳绮和周易儒能好好地生活。但愿所有相爱的人都能长相厮守。

Summary of Interviews

SuperCamp
Position: Office/Logistic Manager
SuperCamp briefing + basic questions like do you like kids + assessment of interest and physical fitness for outdoor activities and educational psychology.
Impressive: Quantum learning, relaxing place of work (work + breakaway!!)
Cons: Super long working hour (6am-1am)
Rejected: Odd period (22 days) + back sprain :p Sigh, something's gotta forego...

Shichida Method
Position: Instructor
Tested on paper, basic arithmatics (addition and subtraction), visualisation of dimension, observation and differentiation of similarities, what do you think happiness is to a child?, suggest some methods for effective learning in the coming 20 years
Impressive: Shichida method that unleash children's ability to photographic memory and wonderful language learning capability.
Cons: Odd working days (Wed-Sun, that means bye-bye family time!), rather stuck-up parents
Rejected: One-sided employment agreement, sigh. What a pity. Could have been so enjoyable.

THG E-Net
Position: Marketing Consultant
Impressive: The expected and unforeseen challenges ahead, the amount of work to be researched and done and learn, the excitement of being able to deal with jobs of different nature and to meet with different people of various big companies, the opportunity to learn, learn and learn! WOW!!! And the perks (parking, petrol, toll, telecomm allowance, outstation chances) and the nice and understanding superior, Mr. R.T.! Liked the way he talks casually yet professionally and encourages people :)
Cons: Parking problem (DH), traffic jam (can bypass Jln Kuching jam thru segambut??)

EduTrend
Position: Multimedia Educational Designer
Impressive: The number of projects at each quarter, flexi-hours, cozy, enjoyable and relaxing working environment, friendly superior, lucrative salary (for such nature of job).
Cons: Too distant from home (Gombak -> Sri Kembangan -> Gombak = +-80KM each day, oh no!)
Rejected: Too simple and dull, far from home

Keray IT
Position: Sales Executive
Impressive: The stunningly beautiful Ms Lynn *whistle* :p
Cons: ?? (So no idea about the company!!)
Rejected: Too few colleauges (less than 5? I'm not ready to babble to myself at work...), parking problem (Uptown).

Didn't attend interviews at George Kent, Marcus Evans, FedEx and three other companies (the callers talked so fast I can't even hear the company names they said, and didn't even bother to ask coz already locked my eyes at E-Net :p hehe). That marks the end of my first time interview for a full time job.

Good luck, Mel :)

未来。机会。

要利用知识 - 要精进、突破围墙。
要有远见 - 把握机会，勇于尝试。
要创新 - 不要已成熟之市场。
要变通 - 不要只懂得死守。

1。 谦虚学习，不耻下问。
2。 累计经验。
3。 发掘兴趣与机会，精心研究。
4。 掌握机会，制造机会。
5。 一心一意勇往直前。

alibaba.com 创办人马云，Flextronic CEO 马克斯。
其实还有许许多多的伟人都如此。运气少不了，勇气与见谋却是真真驾驶成功的因素。
自信纵然重要，但有些猪头，成功了就不可一世，自恃做大，讲话像大便，没半点智慧。那个，我们千万要警惕自己，万万不要学习。
要做个可人爱的领导者。

About Trying & Giving Up

The famous Thomas Addison was said to have tried more than a thousand times before he invented the first light bulb. Wonder if he ever thought of giving up before that 1000th+ time. Iff he did, at which time did he?

Should we try so many times at all the things that we do till we finally get the things right and working, or should we stop at a certain number of tries and move on with other trials? If so, how do we determine when should we stop trying? Am I crapping again?

Truth

Arggh, still scanning and saving the external harddisk with PC Inspector File Recovery! Damn it, taking too long, occupying my new baby!

ATI graphic card, already setting it to 100Hz of refresh rate but still flickering! Stupid piece of black!

And no audio still, multimedia controller still not installed, gonna plug out the DVR card soon, another stupid piece of black!

Complaint, complaint, stop it.

Awaken by a nightmare where karma took place, sighing. Everyone became animals waiting to be slaughtered, everyone was crying helplessly and lying on the chopping board. So saddening but so true. Wonder if that's how hell looks like? Think not, coz most probably we can't find a single plant in hell.

Opened the fridge, saw sausages, I told myself yesterday night I'd eat it today for breakfast, thanks to the dream, I ate kaya spread on cheese instead, and drank cold orange juice. Ran to the toilet few times, must be the bad combo... In the evening I still ate canned bean and egg, so much for awareness of karma! Bah. Shallow, silly me.

Then lovey told the heaven and hell joke, ah. Appreciate the quick share of truth of working life. Don't know what to expect, don't know what to prepare. All I can do, is my very best.

Called Mr. R.T. (oh, same initials, lovey, hehe what a coincident!) to confirm employment, probation details and advice of commencement date, Mr. R. sounds as friendly and understanding as he was, still. yay yay, that's good. Thanks, boss! Googled him yesterday, hehe. Hmm...

Car battery kong off, couldn't go to PTGC as planned, sigh. But then it rained soon after I gave up starting the engine, oh well, I'm blessed. Thanks for helping me save time, God :)

Missed the second interview with the HR Manager scheduled at 5pm today, due to some misunderstanding with Ms. Carrine, luckily it's re-scheduled on Wednesday, phew! Must really apologize to the manager later!

Hmm, hungry, mom, where's the vitara's key?! ARggh, time to let me try driving a manual car, please! Think I'm not only daddy's girl, but more like mommy's! Hehe.

Perhaps I've been thinking too much, perhaps I haven't been thinking at all, perhaps I haven't been able to think, perhaps nothing's inspiring me to think, ideas just don't come to me! But right now I need a piece of mind, I need someone to walk me (like walking your dog, yeah, similar. I feel like listening to people whine and feel like barking back to respond to your whine!), I need ideas, I need inspirations! Time to recharge. Where to, what to, whom with, hmm... can't even think properly and decide on this! Bad. OK, calm down, breath, close your eyes, listen to the surrounding, try to think, act on impulse! Just load and go, okay! Screw everything else for a day or two! Where to, where to... OK, Kuantan, Penang or Kuching? Mmm, ok to do:

1. Draft budget
2. Surf and plan

Oh, can consider that diving course as well! Oh no, maybe it's gonna be tight..

Thought of the day: not knowing something when you ought to = not missing something = it's a bliss? I disagree.

Mel thinks, when you ought to know, you should be informed. Else someone who's hiding the truth isn't being fair and honest to you. If the truth hurts, so be it. I'd rather be slapped by the cruel truth than to be let live in a stupid perfect world of fantasy!

Fatal Installation

Stupid Gigabyte C.O.M program made my new system hang, no choice but to reformat, forgot to detach my external hdd, now, all songs, movies, photos, past projects, documents, everything, mine, sister's, mom's, all wiped off! Argh, bad... 欲哭无泪.

anyone knows how to recover lost data? remember someone told me it's possible with quick format... HELP!

Babe

AMD Athlon 64bit 3000+ Socket 939
Gigabyte K8NSF-9 NF4 S+L (939) PCI-E
Sapphire x700Pro 128MB-VTD PCI-E
Maxtor 80GB SATA 7200rpm
DDR400 512MB x2
Lite-On 52x32x52x16

Whole unit for RM2420, shiok!!!

Momentum. You.

爱人的手，及爱人的话语，有时能神奇地令你无重量地漂浮于空中，快乐不已；
那双跟你十指紧扣的手，有时却又无情地直插你的双瞳，让你不能自己地流泪；
能带来快乐的，就同时带来痛苦
因为快乐，所以我们能识别痛苦
两极相对论，爱与不爱
选择了，就要好好用心
去学习迁就、去学习爱
失望失意，不学白不学
爱爱人，要是当作家人般地去爱
爱情一定出乎意料的顺利、升华
尽管相处难免摩擦、争吵、失望
爱的力量能融化冰山、穿洋越海

Remember the happy moments that lifted my spirits. The warmth of the hand that melted my heart, I believe is powerful enough to melt the problems away. I will hold on to, though it may hurt not being held back, but I will learn to discard my ego and disregard the momental coldness. Because I love you.

Respect to the Therapists

Was reading a few articles on relationship, the American marriage and family therapists are amazing. Marriages which seem so rocky, so close to failing due to various reasons, yet the therapists saved 'em! Bravo!! *highest respect and salute to the professionals!*

I guess as long as two persons loved and still love each other, trust and be honest to each other, there's always ways of making it work instead of feeling helpless or thinking that divorce's the only option.

5 Ways to Pay Attention to Your Marriage

1. Spend time talking about what's right with your relationship, instead of only dwelling on what's wrong. Talk about you -- not the kids, the chores, the roof that needs fixing or any logistics of family life -- but how you each feel about your marriage and each other.

2. Eat meals together. If one of you works late, make a point of having a glass of wine or a cup of tea with him when he gets home.

3. Set a bedtime for your children and stick to it. This way, you'll have uninterrupted time together.

4. Remind yourself that your healthy marriage is the cornerstone of your family's life. Every effort you make to improve it will benefit everyone. Just as you develop parenting rituals to keep your children on course, hone marriage rituals too.

5. Go to bed together. Even if one of you is not tired, or one of you is a night owl, make it a habit to get into bed at night simply for the quiet closeness and intimacy it affords. If the night owl then gets up to read and watch a late movie, so be it.

copied from LHJ

Blessed

Dear God

Thank you for granting me the wish, otherwise I would have been committed stupidly. I will continue to serve and cultivate for my own sake. Thank you for giving me the chance, for showing me the way, thank you for the affinity.


Yours sincerely
SWL



Dear mom and dad

Thank you for your help, support, patience and love in looking thru the agreement. Thank you for being honest and straightforward in pointing out the stupid terms which aren't in favor of me. Though ashamed of my mistakes and carelessness, I'm glad you are well-exposed and alerted me of the danger ahead on time. Thank you for being such open-minded parents whom I feel free to talk to. Thank you for treating me as adult yet protecting me like your child as ever. I'm glad we're fated to be a family. I love you.


Always
Me

Untitled

Can't be named Hand coz was thinking beyond that before and when drawing.
Wisdom grows by the age - not really, some people never learn; Age shows on hands - not really, with nowadays' cosmetic technology and products; Hands can do all wonders - not really, disasters are done when the hands follow the instructions of the evil mind, also some people without hand do wonderful things that a hand can do without using hands..

Finally, I think Untitled is most suitable. But then I've had enough untitled's... Sigh. Time to upgrade imagination. *shout*

Mini achievement: First try without spatting my hand on the monitor and draw!!! Woohoo!!

Small World, Oh Well.

Apparently Das was an APIITian, from class 31! He remembers Wyter, Calvin, Song Yee, Edward, Debbie! (but doesn't know the story of Debbie and I, muahahaha) Oh well, small world. And lovey knows Edward! (doesn't know the story of Debbie and I either, muahahaha) Oh gosh, small world. Oh well.

Feel like drawing, but uninspired. Or is it me who let the laziness takes control of my hands and mind? Hmmm.

Wanna go for food quest, feel like eating and eating and eating. Think I'm probably too bored. Can't say that I've been staying at home, but what am I really busy with? Rewind, Mel, rewind! Erm, reading, swimming, exercising, chauffer-ing, what else. My PDA calendar doesn't show exact emptiness, but why do I feel bored like this? Arh, dear God, I need a job seriously!

Patience's runnin' short again, better bloody behave yourself.

I'm So Sorry

Darling Lovey

I'm really sorry bout what happened yesterday night. It comes back and I am frightened. Could still imagine the darkness and loneliness of wandering, darn afraid. It sends shiver down my spine when I imagine "what if you didn't...", shit, was close to losing you... nearmiss? I was an asshole!

Thank you so much, for forgiving me, for bearing with me, for teaching me, for loving me still (still as much, I hope). I couldn't ask for more and I vow to never let history relive. Thank you for everything, I'm really grateful for everything you do. Everything, really everything...


Little me
"lovin' you more and more"

Aww, Heartache!

Hey you! Why didn't you take good care of yourself for me? You, to see you in agony's not fun at all. Don't know what exactly you're going thru but am sure it hurts a lot, like the muscles are tearing? *sigh* Get well soon, go to physiotherapist ok, pls.

Take better care of yourself, lovey! *massage* Muaks.

Oh Look at the Resemblance!

gosh! can't believe my eyes. look at the resemblance of you and oliver james! i say, approx 75%? you're the chinese version of him, matt!

Oh also, saw a guy at csk who looks like ronald at first glance, lovey! snapped his photo without him knowing :p lemme know if you wanna look at it.

C'mon, Just Live!

If life's shitty, be it, fight it.
Our lives are full of shit anyway.
For it's shit that we get the opportunity to learn and grow wiser.
Some people aren't even blessed with shit.
Instead of crying over the shit that we're thrown at, why not learn to appreciate it?
Crying won't help anyway.
Neither does complaining.
Neither does avoiding it.

Dude, so what if you feel sad or confused?
Nothing helps the situation, not even God if not you yourself.
Buck up, be brave, be assertive and determined
If we wanna be somebody, if we wanna go somewhere
We better work our ass off towards our dreams!
Don't hesitate, no venture no gain!
Don't just keep quiet, no one'll notice you or could read your mind!
Don't be afraid, there's nothing too great to loose, as long as we're alive.
Don't wait, this could be our last second of live
Just strike, there's no turning back, so why not

Life's never perfect for anybody
Not even Buddha, Jesus and Muhammed (when they were down here once as human, I mean)
Why frown like a clown when you can live like you're crowned?
Be at our best, never look back, never regret
It's an art to be totally admirable to ourselves
Stop letting yesterdays hold us back
Stop trying to predict tomorrows
NOW is all we have, all we could afford to have
Good luck to us all
May we have the wisdom and strength to face it (anything and everything when we have to)